“No regrets”, we often say to ourselves, especially when we are not sure if we made the right decision; a cliché used especially when we were younger. Many people even mark these words with ink on their skin, having a permanent tattoo to remind them that regret is a form of punishment. As our American actress, comedian and model, Lucille Ball, once said, “I would rather regret the things I have done than regret the things I haven’t done.”

However, we are human beings and regret is a normal process in life. We all make mistakes at some point in our lives and that’s fine. In addition, we will see in this article that some decisions can become mistakes over time, but we will realize this as we get older. We can make mistakes that we will regret forever, but it’s important to understand the circumstances that influenced you at that time.

That being said, it is perfectly normal to change your mind as you move through life, because you evolve and start to see things differently. Karl Pillemer, a gerontologist at Cornell University, told TODAY, that “if you get to the end of your life with no regrets at all, you probably haven’t lived that interesting a life. But they can’t believe how people waste their time. Petty fights, resentments and worry.”

So, let’s find out together what are the most common regrets that people have in their 50s, according to mental health professionals. Read on for more info!

Not being altruistic enough

According to a 2016 survey by life insurance company Allianz, one of the most common regrets that many people have in their 50s is that they didn’t donate or volunteer enough when they were younger. But this is understandable, as many young people do not have enough time to engage in charitable activities or various volunteer projects, especially when they have to work hard to support their families or to study while being employed.

According to postgraduate psychiatry resident Patricia Celan, MD, “Contributing to society by volunteering, supporting important causes, or in some way making a difference to the community or state of the world is widely valued, [but] realizing they did not do anything significant with their lives is a very common regret.”

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How they treated their partners

Being in a healthy relationship is one of the most important things in life, because it helps you both to develop mentally and spiritually. Toxic relationships should be ended as soon as possible, otherwise, you risk wasting precious time that you could spend with someone who really deserves it.

Nevertheless, another common regret that people have later in life is the way they treated their partners at that time, whether it was negligent and repulsive treatment or in some way abusive.

According to experts, you shouldn’t start a relationship if you don’t have serious intentions with that person. However, if you want to have an affair, try to talk about your intention with that person beforehand. Don’t make them think they are important and special to you when they are not.

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The fact that they accepted to be next to someone ‘toxic’

As I said before, toxic and abusive relationships should be ended as soon as possible, because you are wasting your time with someone who doesn’t appreciate you and your values, principles, temperament and so on.

Well, it seems that more and more people regret this decision later in life, as they have realized that time is very precious and you can’t take it back to fix certain things, so it’s important to live your life to the fullest and be as happy as possible. Not to mention that the mistake of being with someone toxic can have repercussions in the future as you get older. It really affects you without even realizing it.

According to licensed therapist Eric Patterson, LPC, her senior patients said they feel regret for letting abusive relationships last as long as it did, and if they had a chance to go back in time, they would end that relationship at the first indication of trouble.

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Spending too much time worrying

Seniors regret the moments when they worried about things that never happened or that they had no control over, such as what would have happened if they had been brave enough to ask that cute coworker or classmate out.

Life is too short to constantly worry about anything. So, when you get older, you will regret the time you wasted worrying about various small things.

However, it’s essential to understand that there’s a huge difference between being concerned and worrying. Worry is closely related to panic, making you believe that you are not good at something or that you will fail at something, while being concerned is seeing a situation logically and objectively. That being said, it is perfectly fine to be concerned about something, but don’t turn it into worrying.

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Getting divorced

Divorce may be the only option for some couples, but in most cases, their marriage is stronger than they think and divorce may not be a good idea. Of course, it is quite difficult to keep your relationship as strong and healthy as possible year after year, because as your life changes, so will your relationship.

Many people choose to split up without analyzing their feelings or other important aspects, so they end up regretting their decision later in life.

According to a 2016 survey done by Avvo, men are more likely to regret divorce than women, but overall, both genders regret this decision later in life, with 27 percent of women admitting that they actually regret their divorces, while 39 percent of men have said the same thing.

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Staying in a bad marriage just for your kids

Well, we all know how important it is for our kids to grow up in a healthy family with both parents in a house, but experts say that you do more harm than good if you stay in a marriage that doesn’t work at all.

In fact, your children will feel that there is no more love between you and your partner and will end up being depressed. So, if you and your partner want to get a divorce, then do it, and your kids will understand this. They are happy if you are happy. Not to mention that you will regret this in your 50s.

According to marriage and family therapist, Elisabeth Goldberg, her patients say that staying in a bad marriage is their number one regret.

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Not spending more time with their families

The truth is that we live in a world where social media captured our full attention, making us socialize only virtually and spend less time with our families. However, spending time with your family and close friends is very important if you want to improve your mental and physical health. According to experts, interacting with your family face to face reduces your risk of depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses.

In addition, children who spend more time with their parents are less likely to develop behavioral problems, performing well academically at the same time. When it comes to regrets, though, many parents say that their biggest regret is that they didn’t spend more time with their children when they had the chance.

Unfortunately, we tend to focus on our careers and success rather than spending more time with our families, so we forget that they won’t be with us forever.

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Being too self-critical

It is recommended to be self critical from time to time, especially if you want to evolve spiritually, mentally and physically, but don’t forget that too much of something can really affect your life in the long run.

Nonetheless, many seniors realized that being too self critical was actually a waste of time being your worst enemy, so they recommend that you should focus more on loving yourself.

Self love and self care are very important because they help you accept and love who you are as an individual, while making you happier, more confident and healthier. In addition, there is a huge difference between self love and being selfish or narcissistic. With that said, self love is about accepting who you are and what you are without criticizing yourself, as well as your decisions.

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Not asking for help when they needed it

We have to admit that asking for help can be really scary and sometimes difficult. Many people believe that if they ask for help they will be considered weak or incompetent, while other individuals are afraid to seek help because they don’t want to hear a “no”.

However, what many people don’t know is that human beings are always open to help others, because when you help others you will also feel good.

In fact, this is one of the most common regrets that people have in their 50s, namely that they should have asked for help sooner. Hence, experts recommend that you ask for help when you need it, not just when you are desperate.

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Not working harder to achieve their goals

Whether we are talking about graduating from a prestigious university, having your dream body, pursuing a certain career, creating a hobby and so on, many seniors regret that they didn’t work harder to achieve their goals when they were younger.

Experts say that every goal starts with a dream, but you have to transform it into something more meaningful, because otherwise, it will remain just a fantasy and you won’t be motivated to work hard to achieve it.

In fact, many people give up on their goals because they tend to focus more on the results rather than the whole experience and how it can make you evolve as an individual, so that’s how anxiety occurs and diminishes your motivation.

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Not saving more money

Although you probably think that you have time to save some money for your retirement days, experts say you should do this while you are still working and don’t have as many responsibilities as a senior. According to some recent surveys, money issues, mainly caused by not saving enough for retirement are among the biggest regrets that people have in their 50s.

Financial experts say that saving money is one of the best financial habits someone can adopt, even though it is not an easy task and you need to struggle more in order to be capable of doing it.

Saving money is important not only for your retirement, but it also helps you in the event of a financial emergency.

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Not traveling enough

According to medical experts, traveling is not only good for your overall health, but it also helps you develop and evolve spiritually because you have the opportunity to meet new people, traditions and cultures.

When you travel, you get out of your daily routine to explore new surroundings and these experiences help you reset your body and mind; so we have to admit that these benefits last forever, even as you get older.

Unfortunately, more and more people over the age of 50 say that one of their biggest regrets is that they didn’t travel enough when they were younger.

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Not eating healthy 

We all know that eating as clean as possible is one of the most important things that you have to do to live a longer and healthier life. First and foremost, researchers say that there is a strong link between diet and numerous chronic diseases, such as type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, liver diseases, mental issues and so on. If you stick to a healthy diet, you increase your chances of preventing chronic diseases.

In fact, according to a recent study, more than 70 million Americans over the age of 50 suffer from at least one chronic condition, namely four out of five older adults. That being said, it’s no secret that many people over the age of 50 admit that their biggest regret is that they didn’t eat healthier when they were young.

But what does it mean to eat healthy? eating healthy or eating clean means replacing foods that contain trans fats (also known as bad fats), too much salt, sugar and fast foods with more nutritious foods, such as healthy fats, vegetables and fruits.

For example, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), cardiovascular disease is the leading cause of death for adults in the United States. So, if you want to prevent heart disease, you should stick to a healthy diet that consists of vegetables, fruits, whole grains, fish, poultry, limiting unhealthy foods as much as possible.

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Not exercising enough

Just like healthy diets, people regret they didn’t exercise enough when they were younger and it’s pretty obvious why. Physical exercise is extremely good for your mental and physical health, because it can not only help you get rid of depression, stress and anxiety, but it also helps you stay in shape, lose some extra pounds, sleep better and reduce your risk of disease.

According to a 1992 study published in the International Journal of Aging and Human Development, 13 percent of people admitted that they actually regret that they didn’t take better care of their health.

Moreover, medical experts say that exercise strengthens your heart and improves your circulation, which means that you will also reduce your risk of heart disease. People with type two diabetes should also exercise regularly if they want to lower their blood sugar levels and help insulin work way better.

However, the main idea is that, whether you are 50 years old or more or you are in your 20s, exercise can make a difference when it comes to your overall health. Not to mention that it is never too late to adopt an active lifestyle.

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Not saying ‘sorry’ when they had to

Many people who are too proud of themselves usually don’t apologize when they do something wrong, but it turns out that more and more people regret this later in life.

They advise you to apologize when you have broken a social rule, when you have hurt someone because that way you help them rebuild dignity and repair your relationships. Apologizing helps you be a good example for others. It is very important to understand that if you say ‘sorry’ when you are wrong doesn’t make you look weak.

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