Happiness is a complex concept and has different meanings for people. Some people associate the feeling of happiness with pleasure and good moods, but many therapists consider that this state of mind is more than that. What is happiness? Well, it could be generally defined as overall satisfaction with your life and yourself. So, even though our moods fluctuate during the day, our general emotional condition is positive. 

You have the duty to create your own happiness and it should not depend on anyone, but only on you. We have to admit that the pursuit of happiness is a complex process because it is not about feeling good all the time, having a lot of money and affording everything we want or an easy way to go in life. Happiness is about being content and satisfied with your life. 

According to the Harris Poll Survey of American Happiness, just 30 percent of Americans who participated in the study considered themselves really happy. But according to a General Social Survey, in the United States people are struggling with happiness inequality, which means that the levels and intensity of happiness depend on economic status, race, gender and religion.  

So, the secret is to try to create your own happiness and now you can do this with a little help from professionals from this field! Read on to learn more about this state of mind according to different therapists and wellness experts!

Always put yourself first 

Sometimes, in certain relationships with the people around us and especially with the people we love, we tend to always please them, and most of the time this does not coincide with what we really want. So we do some things just to see other people happy, even though we break our principles and make compromises. 

Thus, if you want to be happy one of the most important steps is to learn to put yourself first, to make what makes you feel good and to love yourself, because at the end of the day you are the one who stays with you. If your happiness is based on other people’s happiness, they will take your happiness when they leave – so that’s the reason why you should love yourself. 

“The best way to be really truly happy is to love yourself. External happiness will be brought into your life when at your core you are genuine in your thoughts, words, and actions. Embrace your strengths and accept or change your struggles,” said Kelley Kitley, LCSW, the owner and psychotherapist at Serendipitous Psychotherapy, LLC.

You can opt for a workshop to increase the level of happiness

We know that sitting on a couch or pool and relaxing all day long is always a good idea, but now it is time to think about your future. If you opt to sign up for a workshop things will be in your favor. Not only that you can learn a lot of new things that can make you happy and will train your mind or will probably bring you money in the long run, but you will make new friends and develop beautiful interactions. 

According to Sanam Hafeez, Psy.D., an NYC-based licensed clinical psychologist, “self-care is more than massages and manicures. What are you learning? Where do you want to grow in your life, and who do you need to get around to achieve this? With all the online courses and seminars available, there’s every opportunity to keep motivated and educated.”

Always be positive and make scenarios in your mind

When you have a bad day or a period when things are not working as you wanted, the secret is to imagine only things that are going right. If you choose to do this trick, you will see that your mood will change instantly and you will feel better. This is how the Law of Attraction works: if you always think about good things, you imagine successful scenarios and you are always positive, then the Universe will help you get what you want. 

“When everything is going wrong, explore the ideas of some things going right. Happiness is typically conditioned upon a state of being. People experiencing unpleasant phases of life can achieve happiness when they make the right things bigger. Make your happiness bigger than your problems,” explains Shannon Battle, LCAS, LPC, CSOTS, the Clinical Director of Family Services of America. 

Choose the people you interact with wisely 

If you are always surrounded by people who express only negativity and make you feel anxious all the time it is time to make new friends! When it comes to emotions, at a subconscious level the people’s mind has the power to extract the feelings of others around us and we start feeling like them instantly. So if they are angry and sad, we will be like them and if they are happy and positive, we will be the same.

“Set healthy boundaries and eliminate negative people from your life. This one is a tough one because some of the people closest to you can be the most negative. But take this opportunity to evaluate your life and the people in it – determine what kind of access they get. Say, for example, your mother is hypercritical or you have a controlling friend involved in your every decision. Suggest you communicate just twice weekly to connect and share your big wins. Old friends who aren’t committed to growth will hold you back,” says Sanam Hafeez.

Do something exciting 

Doing something that keeps you excited is another important step that you should take into consideration if you want to improve your condition. So it is important to find something funny, interesting, crazy – or whatever you like – that entertains you constantly. If you do not have already a hobby it is time to find one as soon as possible!

“Find something that interests you and become an expert in it. Maybe you’re the go-to person for travel or the most in-the-know person when it comes to great restaurants. When you make yourself an expert in anything that you are genuinely interested in and others come to you, your confidence booms,” said Sanam Hafeez.

Write down the things you are grateful for

The Law of Attractions could work that way too. If you write down the things that you are grateful for and you keep doing this every day, you will see a lot of changes in your life and you will learn to appreciate more the things you have. 

“Write down one thing (you) are grateful for every day. There is extensive research that supports the effectiveness of gratitude in making people feel happier, and the act of writing it down helps my clients develop a gratitude-habit which eventually becomes a way viewing the world,” said Marie Levey-Pabst, the founder of Create Balance. 

Don’t do the things you don’t like and learn to say ‘NO’

Many people are used to saying ‘yes’ when they actually want to say ‘no’, but you should know that compromises will always make you sad and lead to negative thoughts.

If people refuse to understand your opinion and do not want to accept what you are trying to do, then it is time to move forward and listen to your inner voice and always trust your instinct. Individuals who love you will always be by your side no matter what. 

“You can thank people for thinking of you or simply say ‘No thank you’, the end! You are not obligated to do things you don’t enjoy or feel comfortable taking part in, no explanation necessary. Handling people and establishing boundaries builds confidence in a big way,” explains Sanam Hafeez.

Schedule a break from time to time

We live in an era when things should be done right on time and this can exhaust us. Well, one of the most important things that you have to do in this situation is to schedule a little break to rest. You can take a 10 minutes break and just do nothing – this could increase the overall intensity of happiness. 

“With the fast pace of our society and all the instant connection, it’s difficult to step back and take a breath. Schedule a 15-30 minute break to rest, unplug, and do absolutely nothing. Put this important meeting on your calendar and protect your time,” recommends Kanesha Baynard, a life coach and author. 

Celebrating your wins can make you happier

Another important thing that you have to consider when it comes to happiness is to always celebrate your wins and successful moments because your mind will active those feelings when you need it the most. 

“Count your accomplishments. We are bombarded with images of where we lack. Practicing celebrating all of our wins trains our brain to be less anxious, kinder to ourselves, and (helps us) release rewarding brain chemicals,” noted Sara Plummer Barnard, a relationship and happiness consultant. 

Practicing a sport is a great idea

There are numerous studies that have shown the impact of exercise and sport on happiness. To be more specific, when people are frequently practicing sports and other physical exercises, the level of happiness increases significantly after a workout.

“Exercise frequently. Physical exercise increases endorphins and dopamine release which promotes happiness. If possible, spend some of this time outside. Sunlight increases the production of Vitamin D, which promotes a positive mood,” suggests Dr. Jared Heathman, a well-known psychiatrist.

Create a new ritual 

Having a ritual can really improve our mood and make us more satisfied with our lives. So, if you want to create a new ritual, you will learn to love yourself more and you will feel more relaxed, whether we talk about doing a skincare routine, or walking 30 minutes a day. 

“Going to bed around the same time daily and rising up at the same time helps to modulate our mood and ensure we are well-rested. Establishing a self-reflective practice like meditation is important. Meditation helps to improve the mood and increase a sense of overall well-being. Take a hot aromatic bath and make time to journal to help ease the transition and help keep you feeling radiant into the fall,” said Latham Thomas, a popular wellness expert.