7 Relationship Tips That Are Actually Terrible Advice
The truth is that when the relationship with our partner is not actually perfect (and of course it won’t be because no one is perfect) we often seek out the advice from those around us, especially family and friends. But even though they have good intentions and want to make you feel better, you don’t always have to listen to them.
Unfortunately, some advice could do more harm than good, even though those people have good intentions. In addition, being surrounded by friendly people who want to help you doesn’t mean that all of them have the correct perception of a certain situation, so they can give you wrong the guidance that could ruin your relationship. In fact, their advice only helps if you want a relationship like theirs.
So, here are some tips that are actually terrible advice. Read on for more info!
He or she is perfect for you
Maybe your partner is perfect for you, but “every single person you will meet is going to have flaws,” says James Anderson, dating expert at Beyond Ages. So, “if you accept this fact, you may find that one of the people who you thought was ‘not so perfect’ is actually pretty great for you.”
So, in this case, it’s important to understand that nobody’s perfect and you should realize when someone is not what you really wanted from a real partner. You will figure this out when it’s too late and will realize that you have wasted your time with the wrong person because you thought that he or she is your soul mate.
You should play hard to get
Of course, you can play hard to get if you want, but unfortunately, many people who play this game will end up alone, according to experts.
The truth is that we live in a world where “the dating world is competitive and few people have the time to constantly pursue someone who is not demonstrating any interest,” says Anderson. “Stop playing these silly games and show a little interest back. You will be giving yourself many more opportunities with people you otherwise might have missed out on.”
So, if you really like the person who tries to get your attention, then you should try to get more involved as well.
Find someone who loves your passions
We are all different, so you should fall in love with someone who has their own hobbies and try to appreciate their own personality traits. In fact, you should choose your partner for what they really are, not for what you want them to be.
“Someone who needs to feel connected to another human being in order to survive will adapt their likes and dislikes to you,” says Megan Hunter, co-founder of the High Conflict Institute in California and Arizona.
If you’ve “suddenly found a partner who also loves horses, worships your favorite sports team, has the same type of friends, and loves the same movies,” then you have to pay attention to their behavior, because there is a possibility that they tell you this just to make you like them more.
Wait until they take the first step
In some cases, you can let someone else make the first move, but when it comes to a possible relationship, you have to take the initiative if you really want to be with that person.
“It is incredible how many times both people wait for the other to make the first move or demonstrate interest first,” Anderson says. “It can take a little courage to make the first move, but you will be shocked by how this will improve your dating life regardless of your gender. Fortune favors the bold in love more than any other endeavor.”
They should accept your “dark side”
Many people think that their partner should love them for who they are, even though their behavior can be “dark” sometimes. But instead of waiting for someone to love your personality imperfections, you better focus on fixing the problem and becoming a better person.
“This is the motto of every person you have ever met that draws drama to them like a magnet, but can’t for the life of them figure out why,” Anderson says. “Instead of trying to rationalize your bad behavior, spend that time actually improving yourself and your life to the point where your worst is worth dealing with.”
You should believe in chemistry when you meet your partner
Of course, you can believe in love at first sight, but love is like a brick wall that is built gradually and with a lot of work.
“The brain plays interesting tricks on us, sending love glitter through our brain and body, which then convinces us that this person is ‘the one,'” Hunter says. “Some of the brightest high-intensity sparks happen with people with personality disorders who can later be harmful to us. Strong chemistry isn’t always a warning sign, but it’s a signal to take your time and proceed with caution.”
You should be with your soul mate
Some people believe that they will find the perfect partner who is meant for them and is their real soul mate, but they will end up alone and in pain, either because they can’t find that kind of person or because they can’t be with their ‘soul mate’.
“How many times have you heard people say they’ve found their soulmate? Wait a few years and you may witness them finding another soulmate after the first one disappeared,” Hunter says. “We can love more than one person in life and while we do have deeper, stronger connections with some more than others, the belief that we have soulmates can be a skewed predictor of future relationship success… or failure.”